Insomnia

Once again, sleep has eluded me. Just 4h 40m and I'm wide awake.

I've been battling this particular beast since childhood. My sibling has had the same issue since childhood, and we frequently swap ideas. Melatonin sometimes works, but not always, and it's not a long-term solution. I've tried everything over the years. Sleeping pills, which left me feeling like I hadn't slept at all, put me off being medicated.

As I also struggle with fatigue, when you add a lack of quality sleep, it's (almost) impossible to do anything throughout the day. There are days when I need to take a nap. This, too, becomes an issue because even if I am dead tired, I sometimes won't actually nap; just lie there like a lizard. Other times, I will doze off, but it will be for hours, thus affecting my ability to sleep at night.

I used to work the graveyard shift, and oddly, insomnia was less of an issue during those 10 years. Unfortunately, once I returned to regular hours - due to health reasons - the insomnia returned.

Since my health deteriorated rapidly at the end of 2022 / beginning of 2023, my insomnia has gradually gotten worse. There are nights when I give up around 4.00 a.m. and just 'start the day'. Other times, I only manage 3-4 hours of sleep, and that's it.

I'm just so tired of it all. [Pun intended.]